


Oopsy

by darktensh17



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, M/M, Vibrators, sexual mishap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 13:52:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2027502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darktensh17/pseuds/darktensh17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An embarrassing sexual mishap with a sex toy has Fenris going to the ER. Written for the Kink Meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oopsy

Fenris moaned and arched as Anders twisted the toy inside of him, pushing it deeper. His mind was awash with pleasure and his focus was only on the toy within him and Anders hot mouth around his cock. His orgasm was already building when the toy brushed his prostate just the right way and pushed him over the edge. With a jerk and a cry of his name, he emptied himself into Anders mouth. 

For a few minutes he floated in post-orgasmic bliss, feeling happy and sated. It wasn’t until he heard Anders murmur a faint, “Uh-oh” that he opened his eyes and let reality back in.

“What is it?” As he asked the question, he realized he still felt the buzzing of the toy within him. “Anders you can take the toy out now.” 

Anders didn’t look up at him, still settled between Fenris’ knees, his gaze fixed instead on Fenris’ privates. “I uh. . .would like to love. . .but I can’t reach it.”

There was a moment when Fenris could only stare at Anders in disbelief. “Please tell me you are joking.”

“Just relax and push and I’ll try and grab it.” Anders instructed by way of reply. “I’ve seen this once or twice in the emergency room, I should be able to grab it so long as your body doesn’t pull it deeper.”

If the words were meant to be comforting they were not. Instead of relaxing Fenris tensed up as Anders slipped his fingers inside. It was not as pleasant as it would normally have been, Fenris could feel Anders pressing his fingers a deep as they would go as he tried to reach for the toy. “Push Fenris.”

Fenris tried to do as he was told, pushing to try and get the toy to move. They tried this for several minutes before Fenris had to stop, between the constant vibrations from the toy and Anders fingers he was beginning to feel more than just discomfort. “S-stop.”

“Shit. . . I actually think it’s gone deeper.” This was the last thing Fenris wanted to hear out of Anders mouth in that moment. “We may have to take you to the ER, if this keeps going it could do some serious damage. They have better instruments there to take care of you, if we’re lucky I can get you in, and convince them to let me see to you. No embarrassment, or pesky questions.” 

Not happy about the situation, but knowing that he couldn’t handle the vibrator within him for long, Fenris relented. Already his body was reacting to the forced pleasure from the toy as it continued to buzz happily within him; he was going to need loose trousers to keep his erection hidden. 

“We are rarely ever lucky.” He groused as Anders helped him into a pair of his own pants and on to his feet. 

-

They get to the hospital Anders in good time, and with little more trouble than a sticky cloth tossed into the back seat. Fenris will not speak about the fact that he had to jerk off in the car with the window rag because of the blasted toy, and Anders wisely makes no comment about it.

The ER was mercifully sparse, with only three people three people there when Fenris and Anders entered. They head right up to the station, Fenris is somewhat dismayed to see Merrill working.

“Oh Anders! What are you doing here? You have the next two days off.” She exclaimed when she looked up at them. “You didn't get called in did you?”

Anders offered her a charming smile while Fenris glowered. “Luckily not. Fenris had a bit of a nasty fall and I brought him in to take care of it. You don’t have to worry about paperwork or calling for Garrett or Bethany, I can take care of it myself.”

Merrill worried her bottom lip as she listened. “I’m supposed to record everything, for insurance and legal purposes.”

“Fenris and I live together, if anything goes wrong it’s all on me. We’ll be in and out in no time, and it saves you and the others from having to worry about.”

“Well al~right, I guess it won’t be too big of a deal, you do work here.” Merrill typed on the computer before pointing to the right of the desk. “Room four is open you can use that one.”

Anders took Merrill’s hand and kissed it, much to Fenris’ annoyance. “You’re a doll Merrill; don’t let the others know alright? No need to bug them.” 

Merrill giggled and nodded, turning her attention to the next patient while Anders focused his attention back on Fenris. Where it should have been in the first place. “Let’s go love.” Anders helped Fenris to the waiting room.

“Do you always flirt with your co-workers?” Fenris hissed between clenched teeth, partially because he was annoyed but mostly because walking was difficult with the toy inside of him. 

Laughing, Anders pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I was only being polite, you know that you are the apple of my eye.” 

Fenris sniffed derisively at that, “You are not winning many brownie points with that, considering the reason we’re here.” 

“Don’t worry, we’ll have it out soon.” Anders assured him, pushing back the curtain to the ‘room’ and helping Fenris on to the bed. “Strip and put on a gown while I go and get the things I’ll need to extra the toy.” He ordered before slipping out of the room. 

“Next time you will be the one that’s forced into the ER for idiotic reasons.” Fenris grumbled to no one in particular as he grabbed the hospital gown Anders had tossed him and carefully stripped and slipped it on. 

It wasn’t easy, the toy was more than just an uncomfortable intrusion now, the vibrations were causing him pain which kept getting worse. The only bit of relief he had was that his body was no longer reacting to it, and he didn’t have to worry about impromptu orgasms.

Squirming he tried to find a position on the gurney that eased the pain slightly without much success. Honestly, he was going to kill Anders for this once the man got this blasted toy out of him. What was even taking the man so long?

When the curtain was pulled aside, he was expecting to see Anders coming in with whatever tools were needed, instead he was mortified to see Bethany Hawke staring back at him in surprise.

“Fenris? What are you doing here? I didn’t see your name on the charts.” The initial surprise quickly melted away into concern, as she hurried over to his bed side in doctor mode. “What symptoms are you experiencing? Is there pain? Bleeding?” 

Anders chose at that moment to return carrying some supplies. “Oh sh- Hi Bethany, how are you?”

Bethany turned to him, her face morphing into a frown as she did. “I’m find Anders, but what are you doing with those supplies and what happened?” 

“It’s nothing major, just a small mishap that I couldn’t take care of at home.” Anders told her, his reply not as charming or thought at as it normally would be. “We were just going to pop in and back out, no fuss or need to bother anyone.” 

“Something is fishy here.” Fenris couldn’t see Bethany’s face, but he could picture the thoughtful look on it as she studied Anders. 

Before Anders could reply, the sound of buzzing became apparent in the room when Fenris shifted nervously and the toy moved within him. Fenris felt his face heat up in mortification as Bethany looked around the room. “What is that?”

Anders hurried over, depositing the supplies on the bed and wrapping an arm around Bethany’s shoulder to steer her out of the room. “Nothing that you need to worry about my dear Bethany. I know you probably have other patients to attend to so you should go do that. Fenris an I will be out of here long before you know it.” 

Bethany probably wouldn’t have gone, if Merrill hadn’t suddenly called her name for help with a patient. As it was she only left reluctantly, and the look she gave the two of them promised she would be back. 

“Shit, that was too close. If she bumps into Garrett there will be no getting out of this without a big stink from our friends that work here. Of course if Garrett knows he’ll tell everyone, that man has too big of a mouth on him.” Anders grumbling to himself was not helping Fenris’ mood at all, and when he turned to look at him, Fenris made sure his glare portrayed just how unhappy he was. “Ah, sorry love. Let’s get this over with then, knees up and scoot as far down as you can.” Anders ordered, slipping into his own doctor mode. 

Fenris followed his instructions, fingers digging into the mattress as he endured Anders poking and prodding down there. “You need to relax Fenris, I can’t get the tool in if you’re this tense.” He held up a long thin pair of forceps, waving them at Fenris.

Taking a deep breath Fenris tried to relax, tried not to think about the toy that was causing his body to ache and his head to spin, tried not to think about just where those forceps were going, and he tried not to think about hows he was going to murder Anders for putting him through this. 

“You’re tensing up even further love.” Anders said from between his legs. 

Pushing back his irritation, Fenris pulled upon some old meditation techniques he had learned years ago to will himself to relax. He let his irritation and tense muscles ease until he felt the pressure at his entrance that meant Anders had gotten the forceps in. There was a few minutes of discomfort, especially when the toy shifted, before Fenris finally felt the forceps come out. There was no relief though as he realized the vibrator was still buzzing merrily inside him. 

“Anders.” Fenris said his lovers name with as much anger as he could muster, ensuring that that he knew just how unhappy Fenris was at the moment. 

Anders stood up removing his gloves and, not looking at Fenris at all. “It’s no good, I can’t grab it. Between the vibrations and the leftover lube, I just can’t get a hold of it. It looks like we’re going to need an X-Ray and then possibly surgery.” 

Fenris hoped that the glare he was sending Anders set him on fire, or caused the roof to cave in over his head. X-Ray’s were not a good thing right now, especially not when Fenris knew that Isabela happened to be working tonight, having had to cancel plans with Fenris to work for Lieren. Isabela was a great friend, but a horrible gossip and there was no way that she would keep this to herself.

“I will kill you.” 

At least Anders had the decency to look guilty. “Maybe we can get in there while she’s on break. I know how to use the machine, even though I shouldn’t be using it without a technician.” 

“Isabela would know, she is as possessive of her machine as she is her pornography collection and you know it.” There was no forgiveness or compassion is Fenris’ voice. “Get this over with, I want this thing out.” 

“I’ll go and talk to her then. Be prepared for lots of needling and mocking. Also Garrett will probably know by now, so if he stops by while I’m gone don’t be surprised.” Anders said before leaving the room before Fenris could find something sharp to throw at him. 

Minutes after Anders left, the curtain flew open as Garrett hurried in. “Fenris! Bethany told me you were here! What happened?!” 

As much as Fenris appreciated his friends’ concerns, he didn’t want to deal with this. It would be better to bite the bullet though, instead of having Isabela tell everyone. “Anders happened. He managed to lose a vibrator inside me.” 

“I guess that explains the buzzing.” Bethany remarked as she slipped in behind her brother. “It also explains the forceps. I still hear the buzzing though, so I guess he didn’t succeed in extracting it?” 

“He did not.” Fenris replied, ignoring Garrett’s staring. “He has gone to see Isabela to set up for an X-ray.” 

Bethany offered him a look of pity. “I’ll be surgery after, Garrett will probably have to perform it since he’s the senior surgeon here.” 

It was at this moment Garrett decided to finally do more than just stare; his shoulders began to shake as he let out a guffaw. “I can’t believe it! I mean I’ve seen it before but never with someone I know!” Fenris felt his ears go red as he tried to sink as far down as he could on the gurney. 

“Garrett! Our friend is in need, you do not mock him! Especially not when it’s Anders fault Fenris is in this situation.” Bethany admonished, just as Anders slipped behind the curtain.

“It wasn’t like I did it on purpose!” 

Bethany turned to him, poking him in the chest with her finger. “Well it’s till your fault and now poor Fenris traumatized by the experience, and it will only get worse once Isabela lets everyone else know!” 

The reminder that within the next hour or two all of their friends would know about this, did not help lift Fenris’s mood. It was actually a relief when Isabela came in to tell them she was ready for them.

“Don’t worry sexy thing, I’ll find the naughty little toy and then Garrett or Beth will have it out before you realize it.” She told him as she took control and wheeled him out. “As delicious as this is, it does pain me to see you in pain. That’s why I’ve decided that once you’re better we’re going to plot your revenge on Anders.” 

“Thank you Isabela.” It wouldn’t make up for how embarrassed the entire situation was, and from future humiliations he would suffer when it came up in conversations with his friends, but it was good to know there was revenge waiting in his future. 

The X-Ray went pretty quickly, with Isabela commenting only on his far up it was lodged and how tiny a vibrator it was. Then it was off to surgery, where he was mercifully put under so he didn’t have to endure anything else. Garrett at least was a professional when it counted.

When he woke up, it was to Merrill’s smiling face. “Rise and shine!” She chirped happily. “Everyone is here to see you and wish you a quick recovery!”

Anders was lucky he wasn’t anywhere nearby at that very moment because Fenris would have strangled him. The only thing that saved him when he did poke his head through the curtains was that Fenris was still groggy from the anesthesia. 

“Hey love, Garrett said the surgery was a success, and there wasn’t any damage other than irritation and swelling. No sex for a few weeks until that settles though.” 

“As though I was going to give you sex after this.” Fenris hissed at him. “That is the last time I let you take any of your toys near me.” 

His lover had the decency to look ashamed. “I’m really sorry.” 

Fenris didn’t have a chance to reply as their close knit group of friends suddenly all crowded into the room chattering excitedly at him. Garrett pushed through them all, holding up a jar proudly. Inside of it was the vibrator he had removed from Fenris. “The culprit has been removed and contained. You can mountain on your trophy wall.” 

“Pfaugh! I never want to see that thing again.” His friends laughed and the offending toy was passed around as they all talked about what had happened. Fenris just wanted to go home and never speak of this again, even though he knew it was wishful thinking.


End file.
